HEADED: Real men don't do that - sez who?!
contents of this chapter was a series of extracts from letters
in The Fetters Files
... Get real! - you think you're the only person in the world who has
kinky fantasies that involve Army games. Why do you think Paint Ball
games are currently so popular? All that dressing up in cammo gear and
running around the woods - Bang Bang, you're dead! Muddy, bloody, wet
and wild, hung up or pinned down, tracking, smacking, hiding, getting
captured. Why do you think SOLDER OF FORTUNE magazine and stories
of mercenaries risking their necks are so popular? The Army supply mail-order
catalogues are doing a roaring trade ...
indeed, pretend Army games suffer if the players aren't in shape
- or have never had the training. That doesn't mean guys who have, can't
have fun training guys who haven't. I agree that for people who've never
experienced it for real, it's usually very unreal. But, even ex-service
men who still hanker after a bit of man-to-man stuff, pick and choose
on which level they play. All the tedious times and unpleasant (to their
particular taste) aspects of real Army scenarios get edited out. You
are not alone, believe me! Guys find ways to do it ... and I think a
lot more would like to join in if they could get their minds around
it and justify it to themselves (and their girl friends, wives, parents)
the yen to play Army games may seem stupid to other people
but how much more stupid than Rock Climbing or Cave Exploring. If you're
Turned on by it as you say you are, only you can say if the turn-on
should be kept to yourself or shared. Depending on the group, exercises
can be strictly non-sexual or rampantly homo-erotic ... the games you
describe are not uncommon, believe me (as some following clips will
... Thanks for the
the water-resistant SLEEPSACK . Glad it passed the wind,
water and temperature tests. Glad my "INITIATIVE TEST" story
inspired (see below). Keep me posted about further adventures
of your team ...
I put you in touch with other men who play Army games? - well,
friend, not until you've put a few more cards on the table. There seems
to be a sub-text to your letter - and don't expect me to decode it.
You're going to have to give me a few more clues - even if you're not
exactly sure where you're at. Make three brief lists: (A) Things you
know you're looking for, or at least willing to try; (B) Things you
know for definite you would NOT like to happen ... but be careful, don't
slam too many doors too soon; under heading (C) list any things that
you imagine you would not like to happen ... but if you were in no position
to prevent them, you would deal with for the sake of experience. Maybe
you would end switching them to your (A) list! Feel free to speculate.
Also, be strictly honest about your age and state of fitness. In the
meantime here are THREE SCENARIOS . Get back to me saying what you
found in them that pressed a few buttons and also what was a definite
turn-off. That'll give us a better basis for discussion. A lot of people
are attracted to Bondage because it allows them to surrender responsibility
for what happens next - but, in advance, a few parameters can be set.
Think about it - talk to me ... and cut down on the evasiveness!
... So, yes, I do
know several groups of people who are actively into Army games. Yes,
some of them are Gay - but there's more risk of you getting raped or
brutalised if you hung out with a bunch of Straight but raunchy guys
once the booze starts running. More about such groups anon.
... don't be embarrassed
because you modify Government surplus rather than buy from FETTERS.
I still use (at every opportunity I get) a tough British army Combat
Jacket (Field jacket, to you) which I modified so wrists can be locked
inside front pockets into handcuffs attached to a padlocked waistchain
inside. Cuffs aren't visible if wearer keeps hands deep in pockets.
I still use it for taking someone totally helpless out in public with
all the risk and tension that involves ...
... So, yes, I do
know several other people ... including an ex-Royal Marine who bought
a World War Two underground army bunker on the edge of a forest in a
remote area of England. He and groups of like-minded ex-army-nuts spend
wild weekends there away from wives and kids, playing some really tough
training, discipline and punishment games. They also have a nice line
in practising "Interrogation" techniques. I leave it to your
... Well, Mister
So, your previous letter was full of lies! - and now we're on real name
terms. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Your army experience and current
employment as a State Trooper don't exclude you from the human race
- and you're not the only one of your kind (profession or sexual complexity)
to read both PLAYBOY and BOUND AND GAGGED. I would firmly recommend
that you switch away from PLAYBOY to VARIATIONS and add CHECKMATE to
your list. Because military interrogation scenarios are high on the
turn-on list you sent me - the Editor of CHECKMATE (which now also incorporates
DUNGEONMASTER) knows such games from every angle and will, if encouraged,
offer you appropriate professional advice on military matters.
(Ed.2004 up-date info. here)??
Thanks for returning
the three stories and your list of Yes, no and maybes regarding preferred
incidents described. As far as your Gay, Straight or Bi questions -
sorry, I'm not a psychiatrist (although on these matters I could probably
give you better advice than your average Shrink). My best advice to
you at this time is to forget about the Shrink and spend the money on
buying magazines and postage stamps. Then write to and talk to any advertiser
you can contact who sounds as if he may be on a wavelength even remotely
similar to yours (as you currently perceive it)! Then explore the territory
from all angles, even ads. which at first sight might seem threatening.
There are all shades of grey when it comes to the "... erotic attraction
whether overt or covert (to use your phrase - I like it!) of the games
Only you can decide
how far - in which direction - when you're ready to move - at what speed.
What you definitely do need to know is what alternatives are available
- and how not to get in deeper than you can handle at any given point
... that is unless you enjoy the challenge of getting into something
that you can't get out of without having to deal with it first. It still
makes sense to define the general limits of play - hence the list I
asked you for - which I may show to a couple of people who may or may
not contact you.
So, in your next
letter be more specific about your personal preference and Druthers
as Li'l Abner would say (now he was a mixed-up Bunny!). I know in your
case any form of overt sexual stuff is excluded - which is no problem
to most of the army game-players I know, even to those who enjoy hot
and heavy Mansex. They're not into rape. MUTUAL CONSENT is the key
phrase and CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT means that strictly no-go areas
have been agreed in principle. Also, be careful not to emphatically
exclude things which ... later, in the right circumstances ... when
you've gained a little more trust, you may like to be persuaded to
try. Believe me, as long as the game plan is established in advance,
these guys will respect your limits - perhaps more so than a group of
so-called Straight men when the action hots up. Repressed sex is a
dangerous thing ...
how much do you know about The Training Centre in Georgia ? It offers
prison / capture and interrogation / mental hospital scenario weekends
for people who can afford it. They manage to secure the services of
real-life cops, paramedics, army training personnel and local Heavies
to run the sessions!: (Men who pretend they only do it only for the
money! Oh, yeah?!). I'll send you details. They also make videos which
may be to your taste! Certainly no Suck and fuck as you so graphically
most of the material first published in this section has been transferred
onto the site. I have left the original headings with links
letter about Lockable Clothes and carrying control and counter-control
games out into public places encouraged me to dip back into my files.
I already sent you the lockable biker jacket descriptions -and details
of the army jacket with hands handcuffed inside pockets - which can
have many variations in sun and snow (if you happen to fall over in
public wearing it, it's virtually impossible to stand up again without
help!). I know a Swedish guy who often gets taken out for a walk in
snow-covered woods trussed up under thick cold weather clothes. It's
amazing how often he happens to fall over. Sometimes he gets left while
his wife goes off for a walk on her own - or maybe he gets turned out
of the car and told to make his own way home ...
on Lockable Clothes
story Top Ridge Farm ... not everybody's cup-of-tea. Sorry
the sexual side of it seemed a bit brutal to you. Takes all sorts ...
as they say. Somebody I know even got Politically Correct about suck
and fuck sex between brothers (Is that natural experiment or incest?)
In fact, the story is based on real life - and the brothers both survived
(still survive). Glad you liked (and would like to try) the idea of
spending all night lashed to the five-barred gate in the middle of a
field ... suitably clothed, of course ...
on Top Ridge Farm story
for photo of you in Foul Weather gear . Yes, games in the rain
turn me on too - as you will gather from the farm story also I think
John Stapleton wrote the attached story with me in mind. Staked out
in the rain in full biker rain gear or diver's Dry Suit ... we all have
our funny little ways. Keep the suggestions, questions (and photos)
on "Further Adventures of a Motorcycle Messenger" story
... Great situation,
the padded fishing suit made lockable with added wrist,
ankle, collar and waist belt. I guess, even when hands are free, it's
impossible to remove: Canal walking and fishing trips take on a new
dimension. Your suggestion for the athletic crotch protector with urinal
bag strapped to a thigh inside a locked suit is very practical; you're
not the first with that one! Let me know how the electronic remote control
Zap jock progresses. I've used one on someone in the USA . There's
a lot of potential if you get it right
idea, the Arm splints inside sleeves of street clothes. These
alone make removing any jacket impossible if it's zipped/buttoned in
front. Unfortunately, in a bike jacket, it also makes it impossible
for the wearer to ride solo, and dangerous even as a passenger. However,
in many situations soft splints can totally prevent elbows from bending.
If carried down into gloves or mitts they're even more effective and
undetectable for outdoor activities.
??MORE on Medicat restraints and medical authority figures - soon??
... Glad to hear
you made your own modified Combat Jacket with chain handcuff
belt inside . The idea is catching on. Recently a like-minded
friend in New York met me for lunch with a buddy in tow, suitably locked
into a similar jacket. Very pink around the ears, we took him around
Woolworth's and the Bank before going into a Coffee Shop (wonder if
the Bank security TV monitors kept an eye on him. He was certainly looking
very furtive). He was new to our little games and probably expected
to sit through the meal only as a spectator. Relieved when the key was
slid across the table to him ... he then realised what picking it up
would entail. Taking a deep breath he cautiously eased one manacled
hand into view to pick up the key and take it into his pocket - and
was philosophical when ordered to open only one cuff. Trying to achieve
this while sitting at a table in a crowded restaurant made him look
as if he was tossing himself off. He achieved his task and dutifully
returned the key to the table. The rest of the meal was fun for two
and severe test of nerves for one. Eating bacon and runny eggs with
only one hand free is complicated - and quite entertaining to watch
- if you're that sort of person (and who do we know who isn't?)! My
kind of mind game - bondage and control in the great outdoors of mid-town
Manhattan . MORE
on Lockable Clothes
The guy who instigated
the scene also runs a mountain "Establishment" where anything
can happen. You should meet him - you have a lot in common - mainly
a strong streak of gleeful sadism! Write again soon. Regards to the
... PS I promised
you a copy of the long letter about heavy layers of motorcycle gear
and outdoor games. Hope it doesn't sound too extreme - but, if you're
into motorcycle gear it should get the juices flowing.
HIGH INTENSITY OUTDOOR GAME ?? is this on site?
following scenario is a favourite of mine. I wrote it out in detail
several years back - and have played a part in it several times since
- doing it to others - and having it done unto me - the rules changing
slightly each time - adding surprise elements, intensifying it and encouraging
other people to build on the basic idea. If you enjoy mind games there's
a lot of possible variations on this theme. That's what makes life fun
if you're creative. Anyway, hope the scenario's not too hot and heavy
for your delicate tastes. It's certainly very much an outdoor game.
gear as restraint Equipment:
British motorcycle clothing, due to our climate, is thick
and tough and naturally quite restrictive. Even people who don't have
my highly developed kink for layer upon layer get a kick out of
stomping around in it. In London there's a whole subculture of Motorcycle
Couriers who must be masochists to spend their days weaving through
the fumes and filth thrown up by heavy traffic especially in
wet weather. For people who are turned-on to the imagery and restrictive
potential of heavy bike clothing, a world of possibilities is opened
up by the fact that this is easily available and is a familiar
sight in the streets and countryside. So - games where a willing victim
can actually be taken outdoors efficiently restrained and trapped
inside an innocent-looking biker's outfit are easily possible.
effect is there already, especially in cold weather when thick insulated
underwear covered by leathers, covered by rainproof suit are all necessary.
In a Control situation additions to this can soon reduce mobility
dramatically. Instead of thermal underwear, imagine wearing a tight
skin-diver's neoprene wet-suit under thick motorcycle leather jacket
and pants ... then with fisherman's rubber hip boots pulled over leather
pants legs - covered by a biker's solidly practical wet weather over-suit
- so everything underneath is hidden from view. Because these everyday
looking one-piece suit are such a common sight, it never gets a second
look. Even just walking the streets, passers-by assume you're just
walking to or from a parked bike.
So, if padded
leather biker's gloves are added (they usually have wrist straps)
under leather jacket cuffs, plus waterproof over-mitts undetectably
taped in place with black duct tape - it becomes impossible for the
wearer to remove the layers without outside help. So, there you have
a restrainee, mobile but only just, ready to be taken for a ride
... or even forced to walk the streets and subjected to various sorts
of challenges or tests. If accompanied by someone also dressed in
bike clothes, this incapacitated totally encased victim can be left
standing sweating on a street corner helpless until collected - or
left to walk home alone! With a closed faced crash helmet, it is even
possible in extreme circumstances to tape the mouth under the helmet
... and unsuspecting Joe Public is none the wiser (unless somebody
asks our hero/victim for street directions! !)
If this scenario
sounds unpleasantly extreme, please be reassured that it's not my intention
to shock or spook you. You asked about different types of games. Main
thing to remember ... not everybody's into everything! But knowing where
other people are at' helps you to know exactly where you are ... and
where you're not. Doubly reassuring to know you're not as weird as some
... which maybe give you courage to experiment with ideas of your own
you've perhaps been resisting because you think they're too extreme.
You picked up on
the surgical splints worn in public as restraints idea. The real hospital
equipment is very expensive, but occasionally is available second-hand;
body braces, splints, callipers and crutches seriously slow someone
down in public, especially if they're accompanied by a firm but supportive
attendant. Here's a note from the files about medical scenes.
SCENES & PARAMEDICS:
... If the more authentic mental hospital-type restraint scenarios
interest you: I've always been fascinated by the possibilities of finding
myself in a hospital or detention situation which is completely outside
my control. Then my instinct would be to fight and thrash around as
much as energy or opportunity would permit. The ideal restraint equipment
scenario again includes canvas (usually with leather straps) strait-jacket
or Punishment suit, plus bed straps and the possibility of other forms
of securing violent and uncooperative people being used in a variety
of ways. Enough about me - tell me about you ...
??MORE on paramedics and medical authority figures
... In New York
I used to hang out with a couple of roustabout guys who work as Paramedics.
Their work often involved dealing with drunks and drug-crazed people.
Together we experimented and perfected efficient (without being unnecessarily
brutal) techniques for subduing and immobilising even the most violent
and determined subjects. In experimental sessions with these two idiots
I did at the time enjoy acting as either the controller or victim. What
happened after the practice session victim was suitably restrained
was a matter of personal preference of whoever ended up on top and
the mood of the moment - or the provocation given by the subdued victim.
My bondage philosophy
is basically - if you allow yourself to get into a tight corner - you
have surrendered responsibility or invited whatever might happen next
- depending on who you allow yourself to be subdued by. There are risks
involved - and always unknown factors to gamble on. Sometimes the game
becomes one of surviving the moment you're not actually enjoying. I
can usually get through such a moment by planning suitable revenge for
some time in the future because I usually only like to get involved
in play with people who are prepared to take as good as they can give
(or vice versa).
In the meantime, I'll try and dig out some notes on hitchhike and abduction
scenarios which you might enjoy (if the stuff you sent me is any indication).
But I'm cautious about kidnap fantasies. They make me nervous because
of the current dangers in the USA , with so many remote areas and deserted
highways. The following notes explore it from various angles:
ON KIDNAP SITUATIONS
First, let me say, your Kidnap fantasies aren't so weird as
you think - and certainly not uncommon ... mainly as a preliminary
to some-thing else. However, they are mainly fantasies and, for most
people, should remain fantasy. The real thing must be excessively traumatic;
on a sliding scale with mugging or attempted rape . Fantasy versions
of real-life dramas are, however, very much part of both straight and
gay turn-ons ... for those who enjoy physical control game-playing.
the eyes of the law, the abduction and kidnap possibilities described
below could be prosecuted as if they had been actual crimes. Any Snatch
without the prior consent of the victim, even if you think it's something
he will appreciate in retrospect, is sailing very close to the wind
legally speaking ... particularly if something goes sour. Next, denial
by a previously willing victim that he ever gave consent could also
turn a fantasy game into a nightmare for the perpetrators. However,
from the other angle, a fantasy game Kidnapping is ruined by explicit
prior consent by the victim to be. An interesting conundrum to which
I do not know the answer. I only know that the situation's a recurring
theme in many people's dream-book.
keeps cropping up in these essays. Active, practical Control and counter-control
demands previous consultation and must inevitably remain within the
area of play known to appeal to (or at least be acceptable to) the subject.
Prior negotiation or planning need not always take place between the
prospective Doers and the Done-to: Intermediaries can act as communicators.
Correspondence is another alternative, useful because it provides written
record of the potential victim's agreement to or request for the experience.
However, if something goes wrong, the Doers are the ones in trouble
with the law. When it comes to advance negotiation, every would-be player
of SM, bondage or physical control games should have their personal
orientation list in focus, on file AND in their pocket. When it comes
to defining the parameters of interest and exclusion before a Scene
of any kind, such a list serves to establish no-go areas either physically
or psychological. With kidnap, such pre-planning can totally undermine
a surprise Snatch ... but, to be realistic, a pre-agreed written list
avoids denial that certain limits were set, and makes sure that even
the willing victim doesn't forget to mention contact lenses, diabetes
or the wooden leg.
A KIDNAP SCENARIO
a simulated Snatch in the real world. If
it is to take place in public it's a complicated business. If the intended
victim is likely to put up a struggle, public places are full of problems.
The slightest hint
to passers-by may result in police being called - or else the would-be
kidnappers could get beaten-up or shot (in the USA ). Smoothly picking
up somebody and taking him or her somewhere they would prefer not to
be needs very careful pre-planning, and surprise factors usually crop
up to complicate the plan. If the victim is determined to kick up
as much fuss as possible, extreme physical efficiency is demanded from
the Hijackers. People trained in unarmed combat are taught just how
damaging some of their skills can be. Medical and legal implications
make this a high risk fantasy if put into practice.
all looks so easy in the Movies.
grow up thinking how simple it is to render someone unconscious or to
disable them. Pressure points, karate chops or a quick bop on the head
are all seriously dangerous in real life. Waking up after being knocked
unconscious is not a happy experience. Chloroform, ether or something
in a drink' usually result in the victim waking up feeling terrible
for quite a long period. Medically, a full anaesthetic needs to be recovered
from slowly - so it's no way to start a fun Scene.
But it can
swift and silent move on someone who is not expecting it is possible
if carefully planned and CAREFULLY carried through. Jumping them inside
a private space whether their own home or some neutral space is obviously
preferable to a public place. Once the victim is off balance there is
a variety of ways of reducing their ability to fight back or attract
attention - too many to list here. Enough to say - the game must be
within the capacity of the victim to survive unharmed and not result
in injury or (hopefully) loss of friendships.
the Snatch is to happen close to where the next part of the scenario
is to take place, this is a considerable plus factor - unless part of
the fun is the transportation of a potentially unco-operative victim.
Availability of suitable vehicle plus means of loading and unloading
what may be an embarrassingly squirming or noisy cargo is a major factor.
A scuffle and a van screeching away leaving a single shoe in the gutter
will not go unnoticed as it so often does in the movies. Even silent
scuffles in Shopping Mall car parks are likely to attract spectators
- but, again, it can be done. It just needs pre-planning and a lot of
good luck. The essential thing is - we're assuming a fun exercise among
imaginative kink-heads, however rough the action may get. In public
places a couple of clipboards and a camera tripod are very reassuring
to passers-by. But even that has risks. In many areas you need a permit
to film in public. Another defence is, perhaps, a detailed written game-plan
left somewhere the police can go and find it if you've been arrested
on suspicion of trying to pull a real kidnap.
reconnaissance and rehearsal.
can be as much fun as the actual event (if it ever takes place). A build-up
to a purely hypothetical kidnap may provide many hours of stimulating
discussion and knockabout dry run' action - although the actual event
naturally brings with it a greater adrenalin rush. For the victim
anyway the actual Snatch is something he/her will never forget ...
that I can tell you from experience (see the INITIATIVE TEST storyline).
Knowing your objectives once the snatch has been made is also essential.
The excitement of the opening moment can be followed by disappointing
anti-climax. The action may quickly become an embarrassing non-event
unless the dramatic line has been thought through to a conclusion satisfying
to everybody concerned.
NB: As when
attempting to wrestle an unwilling victim into a strait-jacket - take
precautions; wear shin guards and a protective crotch cover - take it
A story of
that title appears in a small "Games Men Play: six scenarios".
This story may read like fiction, but it actually happened almost as
written. It describes a military Initiative Exercise in which an unwilling
victim is transported from point A to point B without being able to
resist, escape or attract attention. It happened almost forty years
ago - and the forcibly abducted victim was me. Not exactly a kidnap
because I knew who my abductors were and their objectives. I knew they
were determined to succeed and willing to sacrifice my comfort to achieve
their objective. OK aged twenty-one I already had ten years of energetic
Houdini games behind me but, in fact, it was my first ever experience
of being physically restrained against my will and, at the time, I wanted
OUT! Of the many occasions before or since, that one remains totally
clear in my mind. Which perhaps indicates that being so unexpected and
NON-CONSENSUAL is what made it such a vivid experience. Forty years
on I can tell the story and enjoy it in graphic detail - but at the
time it was not fun . But as I've said before, that's true of a lot
of rough, tough and uncomfortable Scenes; they may become enjoyable
only in retrospect. Anyway, if you're that way inclined INITIATIVE
TEST" is a very potent story. (Ed. 2004. Find
more details via 'Storylines' on the web Home Page)
to chapter nine
to contents of "So I Like To Get Tied-up ... So What!!?"