opening sentence of the story establishes the focus ...
When you're lying face down on soggy earth among dripping dead heather
with your wrists lashed securely to your boots for a few hours, it gives
you time to think. A mental defence mechanism I developed long ago usually
kicks in as I try to think myself out of a tight situation and into
more enjoyable times. I've had plenty of practice. Throughout my life
I've found ways to engineer myself into predicaments I love to be in
... but at the same time love to hate.
endurance and challenge games come naturally to me. Tie or be tied,
I like them both. The mental process I use to escape from the more uncomfortable
situations is similar to that described by Jack London in his novel
'Star Rover'. His main character, Darrrell Standing, taught himself
to visit other worlds and past lives while strapped inside a killer
strait jacket. To mentally generate this almost out-of-body experience
demands concentration. Focus is important; it isn't enough to just let
the mind wander.
warm and dry, the cold, damp five hours I spent on a Lancashire hillside
yesterday is vivid in my mind as I write.
opening of the next chapter develops the main topic ... and
introduces a concept which is expanded in the TOPICS INDEX
- the card and board game ...
and I are planning a full weekend of self-indulgence, we like to start
off with a theme or objective. A brand new black waxed motorcycle jacket
and over-trousers I'd bought three months ago were still embarrassingly
new, and I wanted to get them looking a bit more lived-in. Waxed gear
may not be the most weatherproof on a bike but I find it a great turn-on
to see and feel and stomp around in. I was angling for an opportunity
to spend a few hours comfortably trussed up somewhere quiet; what I
call a 'Pink Cloud' bondage session where I'm efficiently restrained
but left in peace to luxuriate in the sensual experience.
we like our games to be structured but at the same time a bit unpredictable,
a couple of years back we made for ourselves a special deck of playing
cards together with a board game. These offer a range of bondage related
choices, opportunities and surprises. The turn of a card or roll of
a dice can bring advantages and disadvantages to both players as details
emerge during a preliminary planning session.
event started the night before when a few unlucky throws of the dice
committed me to a situation I hadn't planned for. My enjoyable 'breaking-in'
of my new gear was suddenly going to be out-of-doors, hog-tied rather
than comfortable, with a five hour time scale. At least I managed to
unload two 'hazard' cards that would have added a butt plug and gag
to my predicament. Tony was holding all the good cards, and one of them
was a wild card which gave him 'chose your own surprise' option. Well,
he certainly surprised me, and turned it into a really heavy challenge.
But, today I'm here warm and comfortable writing about it, and he's
got time to regret being quite so enthusiastic about breaking in my
the way we play, and we both enjoy the challenge. Life's never dull.
He knows that when I'm left with time to think, I not only use the process
to block my mind to the discomfort or boredom by revisiting the past;
but spend some time working out new forms of challenge for him. So,
today I'm here remembering while he's dealing with the situation I dreamed
up for him. I hope he's being as successful at escaping from his predicament
as I was yesterday. Not escape in the physical sense, of course. We're
both too good at devising bondage situations for physical escape to
be much of a possibility.
get back to that windy hillside and the waxed cotton. It's odd that
while mentally distancing myself from an experience, later I can recall
in vivid detail the subtle tortures of the predicament I was in; abandoned
trussed and bundled-up on my face in the mud. I can still visualise
the elaborate network of rope that crossed and re-crossed around the
jacket and pants. The tough new sticky fabric left little possibility
of anything working loose because waxed sash-line had been used, which
grips well on a greasy surface and knots fuse the waxed rope into finger-proof
lumps (not that fingers could get anywhere near any of the knots). The
chill wind couldn't penetrate the wax cotton but it was blowing straight
through the thick woollen Balaclava that was supposed to be keeping
my head warm. Around the mouth hole my saliva soon made it soggy and
from my nostrils the warm air was making an increasingly damp patch
inside. Cold as it was, I remember being grateful that at least my head
wasn't encased in one of our gas masks, all of which have had latex
backs added to make them impossible to rub off. I'd unloaded a gas mask
'hazard card' in the nick of time the night before.
time and planning retribution is another way of keeping
the mind occupied when the body is in challenging restraint
Another way to think myself out of the present when you've
lost all sense of time (and feeling in your fingers) is to mentally
work out the details of a new predicament to spring on that bastard
Tony. I've been meaning to secretly devise a bondage situation involving
splints ... get the mind focussed ...
... I like
the idea of splints ... surgical leg-braces ... I'd like to take Tony
out immobilised in leg braces, perhaps a full body and neck brace ...
perhaps in a wheel chair ... be his keeper ... feed him in public and
have to wipe his nose ... (My nose is running) ... Think ahead! ...
Tony immobilised in public ... helpless ... wipe his nose ... feed him
in a restaurant. Embarrassing! Wheel him into the 'Disabled' toilet
... gag him quickly soon as we're in there so he can't argue ... then
force him to allow the intimacy that a real paraplegic has to endure
every day ... the indignity of not being able to wipe you're own arse
... not able to piss without a helping hand. The humiliation ... I'm
not into humiliation ... but with Tony helpless to resist ... forced
to co-operate, however long it took. That would be a massive power trip
... not un-gag him until he'd 'been' then perhaps have to apologise
to somebody on the way out if they've been waiting to use the 'Disabled'
toilet ... wheel him home and put him to bed still in splints and helpless
until he's calmed down and was not likely to kill me ... because he'll
be fucking furious! ... a scene to plan for ... but I'll need to get
all the equipment, splints ... and a chair ...
simpler ... the two long bamboo poles I found in a skip and stored in
our cellar until I could dream up something imaginative to do with them
... they're about nine feet long ... In a sort of spread-eagle position
a pole could splint one leg then continue across the body and splint
the opposite arm ... It would be a straight line ... With the other
pole lashed to the other leg and opposite arm it would be like a cross.
The poles are long enough to extend well past the hands and feet ...
With a lot of plastic garden ties the pole could be fixed all the way
along the arms and legs ... If you moved the ends of the poles there
might be a scissor action; pull the legs apart and the arms would also
move ... It might be fun to try tomorrow ...
he was wearing his leathers or a Barbour suit ... the two poles would
thread through the legs and arms under the clothes and you wouldn't
need garden ties. It might be hard on the suit ... so leathers would
be better ... but leathers under a Barbour suit would be stronger ...
yes, I could try that tomorrow ... Might be uncomfortable lying on two
poles crossed in the middle ... What would happen if he was lying face
down and the poles were on top? If the ends of the poles were slightly
off the ground at both ends, he'd hang there with all the weight on
the suit and be totally unable to move ... I think I could get him there
... start him off face down on the floor ... might need to tie him spread-eagled
face down first while I got the poles into position ... yes, I'd definitely
need to tie him ... I couldn't trust him to co-operate ...
him off the ground I'd use a couple of same-height tables ... lift the
two arm ends of the poles onto one table first, then lift the two ends
of the leg poles and drag the second table under them ... that might
be the difficult part ... nice idea, though ... work on it ... work
on it ... Horizontal suspension ... yes ... face down! Roll on tomorrow!
Roll on five o'clock ...
is it? I've lost track. Think! Think hard! Think yourself out of 'now'
and into some other time!
tonight ... what will happen at five o'clock tonight when this is all
story continues for another 5000 words.