LIST OF TOPICS INTRODUCED AT THE BEGINNING
now recapped, one by one.
usually allows for a quick expansion on the potential of each category.
The order in which they're introduced depends on responses so far.
distinction is the first essential - so explore pure fantasy first.
Enjoying the impossible without risk or responsibility is good - but ...
Is there a danger in getting turned-on by dangerous or non-consensual fantasies?
Keep discussion on fantasy rather than objective for the moment.
Allow time to explore different topics under this heading - build a list to aid future sessions.
Promise to discuss ways of strengthening focus later = after
Solo or shared fantasy?
Solo = privacy - safety - lack of conflict or compromise
If shared - by what means in what medium?
Is mutal agreement necessary - or are exchanges of opinion about alternatives stimulating?
Is talking an alternative to doing - or preparation before shared action?
Is talking in same space or separated? = chat-room/e-message/web cam/phone/face-to-face
Mutual masturbation = ditto same space or long distance
Writing rather than talking?
Whether one-to-one or group, talking or writing - this leads to the all-important topic of ...
Precise terminology, vocabulary for subtle distinctions re preferences.
Clarity for others comes from clarity re own preferences - or knowing areas to explore.
All the avove are essential to exchanges which lead to turning fantasy into shared experience.
Being specific in your own mind is essential before you can share a fantasies or even
discuss possibilities for turning a fantasy into some sort of achievement
Avoiding generalisation words such as bondage, sadist, masochist, top, bottom, slave, punishment.
Suggest and ask for sub-categories for each of the above.
This topic covers a lot of ground, and group discussion usually stays with the difficulties in finding compatible play-partners. Emphasise - Know what you want; be able to describe it precisely; be willing to compromise to achieve mutual satisfaction rather than expecting someone to fit in with your fantasy when it may not be theirs.
Reciprocation does not necessarily mean return like-with-like = repay to same value.
"You scratch my back - I'll whip yours".
Learning to like doing what turns somebody else on - widens horizons.
Icons - clichés - stereotypes.
Conventional visual image categories can be useful as a starting point, but ...
Can be limiting
- devoid of personality = the gear rather than the wearer as turn-on.
Developing the imagination - careful focus on activity or outcome helps to
for your own ...
"Theatre of the Mind's Eye"
Getting closer to this enjoying this to the full demands something only briefly touched on so far ...
Knowing your own mind
No need to limit your fantasies - but determinedly clear thinking produces sharper images.
Having a wide range of interests is good - recognise your own
likes/dislikes AND maybe's.
Limit per session the range of alternative pleasures/enthusiasm/iconography you include.
Too much mental diversity at one time = blurred imagery / grey areas rather than clear scenarios.
Blanket categories such as leather/latex/prisoner are dangerously abstract.
Well defined details are what bring any mental picture alive. Describing it can be a turn-on in itself.
Choose ingredients = choose support mechanisms.
Audio-video & techno support.
Text and pictures offer a vast range of alternatives whether in private or shared fantasies.
Video clips and web-cams, chat rooms and e-mails ... phone-calls ... web sites =
Vast range of stimulating alternatives - danger of mental overload?
Open the meeting to start this discussion - focus on points raised rather than offer too many opinions.
Bring discussion back to a tricky topic ...
A misunderstood term - means being who you want to be - mentally at least.
Pretending for the benefit of somebody else - easier if no meeting is planned.
Discuss difference between intentional deception via Internet include false photo ... and
Supporting someone else's fantasy long distance
Personality-readjustment rather than "play-acting".
Dangerous to think of fetish/iconic
gear as costume. Wear it rather than let it wear you.
Shedding a personality rather than assuming one helps =
liberating to escape from yourself temporarily can rewarding rather.
Lot's more to add about shared scene playing - chose your own level of intensity.
This connects with the Role Play discussion - and
can also generate lengthy debate.
Theatre of the Mind's Eye and personal story/situation building is such a broad topic +
Recommend exploring it separately on the Houdini-connections web site.
Give a brief run-down of various related pages (listed below) before moving on to
Mentally generating and sustaining a personal jerk-off sequence is the main focus of this discussion - particularly using the technology discussed under Audio-video support.
Quick round-up of different ways
photos, videos, scanners, PCs and other media can be used.
Much depends on mind-set, resources and
needs of the individual.
Refer to 'Visualisation' workshop notes on this site - and combine them.
Whether solo or shared, this choice usually means that compromises must be made.
Generating a mental fantasy can provide hours of comfortable stimulation via wishful-thinking, one-handed reading or at the computer. Turning it into any sort of simulation of reality can be time-consuming, frustrating and prone to disappointment.
However, hours of focussed thinking, fantasising and choosing from available alternatives can be enjoyed even before starting the actual process of planning towards making something happen.
Many game-planning themes and Role play alternatives are discussed in texts I have written which describe fantasies achieved. Objectives must be realistic - and getting even close to achieving them may be beyond the capabilities of most people with busy lives, family obligations and limited budget.
End by leaving the door open to this topic - but reassure that many hours of highly stimulating enjoyment can be gained from making mental fantasies more strongly focused in your own mind - and then concentrating effort on finding somebody to share them with at a distance if not closer at hand.
Expanded notes taken during different 'GET CLOSER TO YOUR FANTASIES 'talk-shops'
would fill a book. Until I get around to it -
site visitor's feedback to the notes above will be welcomed - and responded to.